Do you believe in love? If you do, it means that dating with a disability is possible. Even though there are many obstacles in a way of a disabled person, still you are able to find the love of your life. If I could do it being a disabled person, then you can do it too. To tell the truth, I have actually been in your shoes and managed to create a family. Would you like to know more about disabled dating?
Dating with a disability – Should you give up?
First of all, you need to know that dating while disabled can be in your life. And the worst thing you can do is to give up. Have you ever heard about Nick Vujicic? He is a man without legs and hands. The only thing he has is a small spine of his leg, with the help of which he can actually move. When he was a child, he wanted to commit a suicide, but when he thought that his father and mother would cry he stopped. Later on, he began to motivate other people as a public speaker and then he found the love of his life, with whom now he has a few beautiful kids. Isn’t it inspiring? Note that this is not a fairy tale, but a true story.
Giving up is definitely not a way out. However, focusing on finding your beloved one is not an option too. The best is something in the middle. Perfectly, you should continue to live and enjoy your life. That is what Nick Vujicic was actually been doing before he met his wife. Hence, do be a person who does good for the society. Work, have fun, read books, just like you are normal. Don’t concentrate on your disability. Enjoy life!
General rules on dating while disabled:
- Be confident.
Even if you are a disabled person, it does not mean you are a loser. Keep being confident during the date. Of course, it might take time until you find real love, but you should shine bright like a diamond, x-raying independence.
- Be sincere.
Tell about the fact you are a person with a disability. Don’t hide it. It is better to do it now, than after you fell in love with her completely.
- Feel okay about your disability.
It is very important on disabled people dating to show you feel comfortable about your limitation. For instance, you may also play jokes and treat yourself with a sense of humor about this your peculiarity. If you accept yourself with the disability, people you date with are more likely to accept you as well.
- Remain sexy.
Even if you are a disabled person, looking sexy is important. If you want to draw other people’s attention, find your style, experiment with your clothes, and make a beautiful haircut. Life continues, no matter whether you are on the wheels or with a cane, or not.
- Keep a mystery.
Telling your diagnosis on the first date is not really important. You should keep it in a secret till you open up for the other person more. Therefore, don’t be too open-hearted at the beginning because it might ruin everything.
– If you are with disabled people dating, don’t ask him or her whether or not they can have sex. It is very impolite, especially on the first dating. If you do so, she or he might think that the only thing you need from him or her is sex.
- Asking disabled single women, whether they can walk fast is inappropriate too. It seems like you are beginning to compete with her or him, but not enjoying the communication or romance.
- Saying at dating a disabled girl that she is inspirational or brave is not needed as well. For her or him, this is not a compliment at all because they think that there is nothing special about her or his disability.
- Don’t wish her good luck in finding her only one. It is cruel and means that albeit you don’t want him or her, you still believe that someone else will, which sounds stupid.
- Don’t say that he or she is too beautiful to be disabled because it is unfair. The appearance does not depend on the health of a person.
Where to meet your significant other if you are disabled?
First, you may find disabled singles in a social network or in the sports club. In these places, there might be many people like this easily chatting with each other. Some of them show, but the others hide their disability.
Secondly, you may find people with disabilities at work or volunteering. Truly, disabled singles are the ones with a big heart (most of them) because they can understand the pain of other people and feel sympathy for them. If you like to volunteer and serve other people, you may meet a gorgeous person with a wonderful soul, no matter whether he or she is in a wheelchair or have a cane.
Thirdly, you may meet your beloved during studying. Yeah, being a disabled person does mean being a stupid person. At least, such people like me have brains. They like to study and explore the world. If you like it too, you might find a common language.
Fourthly, you may appoint an online dating for disabled. These people do not want to close themselves in their flat and separate from the world. They are very curious and like adventures. Therefore, you may appoint a dating with him or her in unusual places after several meeting online.
Things you should know before dating someone with a disability:
- Don’t underline the fact the person is disabled.
Treat those people as normal and do not say you are sorry about that fact. Just treat these people as normal and do not ask too many questions regarding their chronic disease. The statistics say that one of five people in the USA is disabled. So soon dating with a disability might become a norm.
- Admit the fact you have more privileges than a disabled person.
This means that you should realize that you have more things to invest in your relationship, including physical and emotional contact. Be ready for some challenges on your way for happiness, but don’t be afraid of them because if it’s real love, you will overcome everything together.
- Love the soul first.
Don’t ask the questions like “Will you be like that forever?” Probably, the answer is “Yes”, and obviously he or she will, but it may hurt them. Try to realize that the body is not everything you need from your partner. Remember how the disabled person listens to you after you had a bad day and appreciate their love the way it is.
Tips to Safe Online Dating for the Disability Community:
- If you are a person with a disability, please do be sincere to other people. If you are posting your photos on the website, it is better to include the photos with a wheelchair.
- Don’t be afraid. If you were contacted by people who asked you finally for a date, knowing you use a wheelchair, they are your potential partners because negative people have already been filtered.
- Use a reliable website. Some of the sites are really needed to be checked out. Look for some feedback and comments about the site, therefore.
- Don’t give your private information. You may give your telephone number, but it is better to do it only after you make sure a person is trustworthy.
- Let your closest friends or parents know where you are planning to have a date. Supply them with the data about the time too.
- Go for a risk. No risk, no champagne, remember?
Don’t panic if you are disabled. Think of it as if it’s your peculiarity. In this world, it’s hard to remain all the life healthy. What is more, there are only a few percents of people on Earth that are absolutely healthy. I recommend you, however, don’t look for the physical attractiveness, but for the common way of thinking and beliefs. For instance, if you believe in God, try to find your prince or princess charming in a church.
Secondly, if you have already fallen in love with a man or a woman with disabilities, don’t be afraid too. Just treat this person like a normal. Do it with a sense of humor and your love and happiness will only grow.
The last but not least, be a human. All the time. If you argue, don’t attack such a person reminding them about their limitations (It’s more than they can take). Disabled people are very sensitive, so if you need a strong person to support you and listen to you when you feel bad, he or she can even be the best option for marriage in your life. He or she, for instance, can give you a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on when no one else will do at all because they know exactly how hard life may be.
Wish you feel love and give love, because giving is better than receiving!