What is a toxic relationship? How to know that your partner does nothing but hurts your feelings? Can you call your relationships toxic if they don’t make you happy and don’t enrich you? Not quite. The toxic relationships are those which lead to psychological problems, mental and physical disorders. And how to have a successful relationship?
People spend years to get out of toxic relationships and years to realize that their relationships are toxic. What are the signs of a toxic relationship? There are several standard symptoms.
6 Symptoms Of Toxic Relationships
You feel like you are a Chinese worker at a fake Apple factory, working one’s socks off, while your partner seems to be quite happy with your relationship, fulfilling one’s childhood dreams, having fun, developing a career, spending money. Get to know whether you partner is in a relationship with you or with those comfortable conditions you are creating. For instance, tell your partner that you are going to leave your current well-paid work and substitute it with another one. Of course, the salary will be smaller but you will get the opportunity to unlock your talents there. Another useful test is to tell your partner that you cannot do the housework all by your own anymore while the one is relaxing in front of the monitor. The reaction will be more expressive than the words.
2. Making fun of your partner
“He is a kind person. He simply has a wry sense of humor.” How many excuses are we ready to make for someone we are living with (even though the one kills your mood with some mean jokes on a daily basis and starts unreasonable quarrels). The thing is that such a relationship can hardly be healthy. According to a recent study these toxic behaviors, as well as constant social stress, may cause an enhanced production of the two protein types that provoke inflammations and metabolic disease. Constant toxic behavior relationships with your partner or relatives can cause a depression, heart problems, and even oncology. Is it an adequate price for being together with your significant other?
3. Being unable to talk your problems over
If your partner turns a deaf ear to your suggestions to change something, it means he is comfortable with the present posture of affairs. However, if you still feel that there is a problem in your relationship, it proves that your couple lacks harmony – while one of you enjoys it, the other one feels awkward. The more you ignore the problem, the more toxic your relationship becomes. The fact that you are unable to get through to your toxic partner will make you feel desperate and boxed in.
4. Self-hating and feeling unhappy
One of the worst outcomes of toxic relationships is the growing dissatisfaction with yourself. If you are constantly living with someone who underestimates you, eventually, you will start thinking that your partner is right, and you are an untalented, gray, and pathetic person. For example, the researchers found that many girls who suffer from anorexia hear an “inner voice” that directs their actions. This inner voice often prevents their recovery, leading them to an illusory “conversation” on gloomy and joyless topics. Psychologists decided to find out what this voice actually talks to them about – for this purpose, they studied letters, diaries and literary works (stories and poems) of patients. They were surprised to learn that they were discussing relationships (not only with a partner but with a mother, close relatives or girlfriends). These toxic relationships serve as the cause of anorexia among women.
5. Being unable to think about your future as a couple
The most prominent peculiarity of a healthy and successful relationship is the feeling of stability and confidence in your partner: even if your partner is a sailor and you are apart most of the time, you can still plan things for the future. While toxic relationship does not allow you to plan your future together. All you think about is your past – you are trying to find an excuse for being together, searching for some warm memories. Feeling the fear thinking about your future as a couple is nothing but a sign of a toxic relationship.
What does prevent people from letting go of toxic relationships? What are the signs of a toxic partner? It is difficult to get out of your toxic relationship even though you realize you are in a tight corner. The reason is the fear of loneliness. A few women choose to remain alone rather than venture into another potentially violent relationship. Most of us use the fear of loneliness as a tool to agree on just another condition to stay in this relationship. Besides, the more dependent you are, the more insolent your partner becomes.
Signs Of A Toxic Partner And Signs Of “Poisoning” With Toxic Relationships
If you have already been sucked into a relationship with a toxic partner, you can experience some specific feelings from time to time. The feelings often remind the symptoms of poisoning or intoxication (metaphorically speaking):
– You feel that you are getting involved in the drama created by your partner, and you are overreacting to it;
– You might be scared or feel uncomfortable being with your partner;
– You feel exhausted or angry during or after your communication;
– You can feel shame or guilt about yourself (as if you are doing something wrong);
– You catch yourself on the fact that you constantly correct something, remake for this person, show concern, save him/her but it never ends and something new occurs all the time;
– A person does not understand the word “No”, or does not understand that “No” can serve as a complete sentence and you don’t have to explain anything else;
– When you communicate, you may have the feeling that you are constantly walking through the minefield;
– You forget about yourself, about your interests, values , and desires, putting in priority the interests and values of a toxic partner;
– You turn off emotionally (stop responding to your emotions);
– You feel that you are being controlled by your partner (or you find yourself trying to over-control other people);
– Your partner is not really interested in your opinion. You never win, whether it is a dispute, discussion, or plans for a vacation. A toxic person must win because he is always right.