Divorce or breakup is always painful. You thought you’d spend the rest of your life with that person but something made your relationship collapse. Getting over it can take a lot of time and it’s a natural thing because you need to clear your mind before you can get back to the dating scene. Some friends may advise you to find somebody in order to forget your ex faster. But it’s a bad idea since you can’t start a new relationship without getting rid of the negative baggage. No one can tell you when it’s the right time to find a new partner. You should feel it yourself.
Here are some tips on how to move on and make the first step towards a happy relationship.
Are you ready?
This is the main question you should ask yourself because only you know the answer. If you feel like dating somebody shortly after a divorce, don’t be afraid of your inner drive. Some may say it’s too soon but it’s you who decides what to do. If it’s been a year or even more since you became a divorcee and you’re still single, don’t think there is something wrong with you. It only means that you need more time to deal with your past. There are some signs for you to understand you are ready.
You analyzed your failed relationship.
Now, you have the entire story behind you. You have played it back like the tape, analyzed, and drawn the conclusions. You remember how everything started and you can clearly see the moment when something went wrong. It helped you identify your mistakes as well as your ex’s. You don’t blame any of you – you just know that you will never repeat those mistakes.
You’re not haunted by your ex.
It means you’re not obsessed with the thoughts about your ex. Yes, you’re not a couple anymore but you shared so many pleasant moments with this person and you’re grateful for those moments of happiness and true love. When you recall your ex, you don’t get angry because you totally forgave that person.
You want to meet new people.
Very often, divorcees find it difficult to communicate with the opposite sex since their confidence was shaken and they are afraid of being dumped. If you regained your confidence and you feel that you feel open for new acquaintances, this is a surefire sign that you’re ready to start looking for love again.
Use your freedom wisely
Now that you’re single again, turn it to your advantage. You got an excellent opportunity to prepare yourself for a new life, so it’s high time to become a better version of yourself. If you wanted to improve your physique, join a gym or start exercising regularly. If you used to have a hobby but as a married person you didn’t have time for it, get back to your passion. Perhaps, there is a book you always wanted to read – now you have a lot of free time in the evenings, so do it. Visit your family and friends and feel their support. They are those people who will help you believe in yourself again. Don’t lock yourself from others – be among people, socialize, and be active.
Start looking for love
Once you realize that you’re over your failed relationship and you feel free inside, it’s time to give yourself another try and find your love. It can be scary at first since you’ve been out of the dating game for years. There might be some moments of despair when you think you will not be able to build a new relationship in your midlife. You should drive those thoughts out of your head. You deserve to be happy at any age, so go for it.
If you think that you lost your dating skills, it’s not true – several dates and you’ll develop them again. There is nothing intimidating about going out with new people. Every date is your opportunity to have a good time with an interesting person. View it as an adventure.
Keep in mind that contemporary dating culture is more liberal. Today, people go on numerous dates and they don’t get disappointed if a particular date didn’t go the way they wanted because tomorrow they have two more dates. It’s a common thing to look for potential dates online. You communicate with several candidates and if you like each other, you arrange a real-life date.
Where to find a potential date
Online dating sites are arguably the most popular venues for making new romantic acquaintances. It’s a very convenient way to start dating again. You can meet new people without leaving your house! You see the photos and personal information of other single people looking for potential partners or dates. You contact people whose profiles caught your eye and you start getting to know them better. Sooner or later you’ll bump into your soul mate and decide to see each other in person.
If you’re not a fan of online dating, there are a lot of places where the newly single can find their love. People with similar interests are attracted to one another, so start taking group dance classes, attend some seminars, or take master classes in the fields of your interest – you’ll make new acquaintances, broaden your social circle, and find some potential dates.